"Cody Rotten and Giovanni see Vicky Vette topless. Circa 2005."



(Written - October, 2005)

So yeah, after work the other day Giovanni and I decide that we want to go up to
the outlet malls in the Dawsonville area. For those of you that don't know,
that's North Georgia. So we drive up, takes us about 30 minutes and we shop for
about an hour or so. I decide I want to go to Lenox Mall, which is about an hour
south of the outlet malls. We start to leave and get back on GA 400 South, when
we spot a really sleezy adult video store on the side of the road. It read:
"ADULT: Dawson Video Outlet". So of course we couldn't resist. We pull in, walk
inside and the first thing I notice is the stunning topless woman standing 5
feet in front of me. "Hah, why am I hallucinating?" I think to myself. But no,
Giovanni sees her too. I can tell this by the expression on his face. There's
also some really creepy guy with facial hair grabbing the blonde's ass... So I
kind of play it off like it's not a big deal and just walk past her. Gio follows
and we head into the sea of nasty videos, dildos and various sex creams. Now,
not to brag but a female attendant immediately walks up and starts talking to
me. "Hey guys, what's up? I really like your jeans." Because I was wearing
womens jeans I guess. I said, "Thanks.. who the hell is that naked girl?"
Because I wanted to know who the naked girl was. She gives me some 'are you
fucking kidding me look' and says, "That's Vicky Vette! She's a pornstar!" No
way this is happening. I mean... we pick the grossest looking adult video store,
out in the middle of Cock-Holster, GA and somehow, a famous pornstar just
happens to be inside. Naked. With no clothes on and fake boobs. Naked. The girl
then says to us, "SOOO, are you guys gonna get your picture taken with her?"
Hah! "You bet your ass we are! Right Giovanni?" He was reluctant at first, due
to the fact that he possesses an over-possessive girlfriend. Or something along
those lines. But finally I get him to agree. He buys a really raunchy dvd, and
we both buy some 'beer can nipples that look like nipples' to put on our beers
that night at a party. We walk back to where the porn star is standing and this
fucking child molester looking guy goes, "You guys go ahead and get in there."
So taking his advice I walk up and introduce myself to Vicky Vette, and she says
hi to us and proceeds to rub her right breast on my left bicep....

....

Anyway, we stand there about to take the picture and all of a sudden I feel a
firm grip on the middle of my glutes. I then realize that this famous topless
pornstar who is probably close to 35 is grabbing my ass like it's a fucking
stress reliever ball. No complaints. The dude takes the picture, I stick my
tongue out of course, and Vicky proceeds to talk to me about her website and
other things that 35 year old pornstars talk about. The polaroid dries and the
dude hands it to me. She grabs a sharpie and signs: "To Cody and Giovanni - You
guys are hot! luv Vicky." And on the back writes "xoxo" Thanks Sticky Vicky. By
the way tell your nipples to stop staring at me. This was all great until the
creepy guy busts out, "Did you guys pay me yet?" HAH! What a fucker. Thanks for
telling us before hand douche bag. Oh well, I payed like $17 and Giovanni payed
$3. But I kept the picture and it's a small price to pay for the cool story and
erection. I'll have to scan the picture soon and put it up here. It's too rad
for words. Those of you who hang out with me, the picture will be available to
see upon request. Just let me know before hand.

luv,

-Cody

xoxo